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Guilt To Grace

The everyday life adventures of a Christian, wife and mother, daughter and so much more. Writing about life, lessons, guilt and God's grace

Archives for April 2016

Comparing Yourself

April 29, 2016 · Leave a Comment

Last night I was at dinner sitting across from some pretty amazing women of God.  I noticed their gentleness and the maturity in their speech.  They exuded patience and wisdom.  None of which I have very much of.  As I sat there comparing myself to them, I had to ask, “How did I end up in this room?”

Do you ever find yourself in the situation when you are comparing yourself to those people you are surrounded by?  I am guilty of doing it often.

Comparing Guilt to GraceSomewhere along the way, my self-confidence took a nap, went on vacation or flat out dissolved.  I spent several years in circles where I was constantly comparing myself to people based on very shallow things like degrees, jobs, houses, cars, handbags and bank accounts.  I found myself basing my self-worth on things that I had or did not have.

I no longer travel in those circles, and my life is much better for it, but I do still struggle with feelings of being inadequate.  I often feel like I just don’t measure up.

[Read more…]

Filed Under: Being Me, Faith Tagged: Comparing, fearfully and wonderfully made, Ps. 139:14

An Overwhelming Busy Season

April 26, 2016 · Leave a Comment

The spring is known in our house is “Busy Season.”

Tell me if this sounds familiar.  Last Saturday’s schedule looks something like this:

8:45 have big boys to Natatorium

9:30 GHS water polo game #1Busy Season Guilt To Grace

->9:30  have Maj at football field

10:00  Major’s football game

11:30  sell banquet tickets at Nat

12:30  GHS water polo game #2

2:00  Get home prepare for evening

3:30 Leave for DBU

4:30  Tour DBU

6:00 Leadership Dinner

10:00 Get home and prepare for Church on Sunday

And Sunday was very similar, starting early and ending late.

I am sure many of you can claim weekends like this.  And I would be willing to bet [Read more…]

Filed Under: Being Me, Faith, Uncategorized Tagged: Busy Season, Fruit of the Spirit, overwhelmed

7 Things Young Adults Need To Know About Grief

April 20, 2016 · 1 Comment

Today is my brother’s birthday.

He should be 44 today.  We should all be getting together to celebrate with his family and have dinner.  We should all be calling him or sending cards and exchanging texts.  But we aren’t.

Michael Dale Johnston - GriefMy brother, Michael, died in 1990 at the age of 17 of Viral Cardiomyopathy.  It was sudden.  No one knew he was sick.  Back then, I don’t even know if there was anything we could have done about it if we had known he was sick.  We just all woke up one Saturday morning and our world was changed forever.

In the very simplest of terms, Viral Cardiomyopathy is when a virus settles in one’s heart.  The heart enlarges and uses up all its beats.  That is what they told me at the age of 18 and my sister at the age of 13.  Simple was all we [Read more…]

Filed Under: Being Me, Faith Tagged: Grief, Viral Cardiomyopathy, Young Adults

Gratitude for the little things

April 14, 2016 · Leave a Comment

It’s about the little things.Little Things

Last Thursday night our dishwasher stopped working.  Mark took it apart on Friday and thought it was fixed after replacing a part.  It wasn’t.  So, I have not had a dishwasher in a week.  I was thinking this morning what a drag it is to hand wash dishes, and that got me to thinking about all the little things that I take for granted, but I am so grateful for.

Little things such as: [Read more…]

Filed Under: Being Me Tagged: broken dishwasher, gratitude, little things

I’m not much fun since I stopped drinking

April 7, 2016 · Leave a Comment

I’m that awkward friend that has “stopped drinking.”

When I use the term “stopped drinking” I mean I used to drink, and I really loved it, but for the good of myself and those around me, I chose to stop. It does not mean is that I was a crazy lush who started the morning with half a bottle of Jack in my coffee.  I was still in enough control to make the decision to stop.  It also does not mean that I wanted to, but that it was necessary.

If you were to spend much time with me you would know I have this funny sarcasm that intensifies and gets kind of hilarious when combined with alcohol.   I’ve never been one to hold my tongue, or not speak my mind, but when I would drink it was like magic.  I didn’t get mean and I didn’t get sappy.  I just cared even less what people thought about me and laughed at it.  I also had a very long history with alcohol and we were very comfortable together.

stopped drinkingAfter my third son was born, I had a pretty rough bought with depression.  It lasted a lot longer than it had with my second son.  It was a lot deeper and darker, but the alcohol made it better.  The worries seemed not as heavy and all of life’s other issues would go on hold when I drank.  I was able to block out all the insecurities, all the uncertainties and all the guilt when I drank.  I was happy when I drank.

I usually drank on the weekends with friends and neighbors.  I would have a drink or two when we went to dinner.  I especially loved a super cold beer [Read more…]

Filed Under: Being Me, Faith Tagged: addiction, depression

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